This city
with
countless people
like
stars
some
dim
some
bright
some
dying
never sleeps
Its voices
like
waves
rise/fall
lost
in
deep
ocean
heard
unheard
City-roads
like
serpents
drink
lives
no
mercy
no
plea
life
dead
Road-lights
like
moths
search
brightness
ultimate
untimed
death
flicker
This city never sleeps,
its voices unheard,
city-roads dead,
road-lights flicker.
20 comments:
This is real, this is death, great write.
"City -roads
Like serpents
drink lives..."
Those lines! So much truth there.
Love your imagery, Vandana!
Vandana, thought provoking as usual... I have missed your writing... it's been so long since I have written but I am back and working on getting caught up with others xox
Lovely structure, used perfectly to deliver your message. Is this a form of your own invention? Does it have a name? I might like to try it some time.
Glad you liked the structure, but it is not a form. Just wrote it.
This is perfect in its description of the city. The arrangement/form inspired me.
I just love the structure of this poem, Vandana!💞 Beautifully eloquent write!💞
Yes, this an interesting style which could be applied to many scenarios. It will be interesting to see if you compose more in the future.
Very interesting Vandana . Happy you dropped by my Sunday Standard today
Much love...
You have really portrayed well the life of an active and vibrant city. Indeed it does feel sometimes like the city never sleeps!
This is so well done in both form and content.
Eerie, the moth-light that beckons us into those streets.
Love how you have created two poems from this... cities are so complex
wow....one of the best things I've read in a bit. Absolutely loved it
Lovely metaphors here Vandana - you tease out the organic nature of the city here. Loved this...
Love the structure... and the way you've expressed such a terrible reality in the first stanza.
Oh well done.....love the form and the two poems and how they meld beautifully!
The formatting you used works well. I could imagine the italicized parts read in a hushed, almost-whisper tone while the un-italicized parts marched relentlessly on.
You captured the city! Lovely.
This is an enjoyable read. You've created a new form. Just Wow!
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