http://picturetrail.com/susiedolls
My
eyes say a story,
of
gory and glory.
Tears
all dry,
with
life’s lows and highs.
All
day I weep,
and
never I sleep.
Wrinkles
on face,
travellers
of space,
each
line a road,
weighing
under sorrow’s load.
So,
I weep,
and
never I sleep.
A
silent witness of fate,
in
an unending wait.
Lips
sealed forever,
no
hope to open ever.
That’s why I weep,
and
never I sleep.
In Stave Stanza the last
couplets rhyme and the last line is a Refrain for all the subsequent stanzas.
For a three stanza the rhyme scheme would be: a. a. b. b. c. C.... d. d.
e. e. c. C. ... f. f. g. g. c. C.
28 comments:
Not only is this poem so very, very beautiful in all its sadness, but I always learn something new about form when I visit your page. Love it! Simply love it!
so sad when there's so much weeping along the way... and once the eyes are closed there's no hope left to be able to change things... loved the each line being a road..
I really liked the rhymes. Well-penned. :-)
-HA
A silent witness of fate in an unending wait...beautiful write Vandana.
nothing can be more painful than lips being sealed forever...a poignant write...
Such a sad & silent witness to fate ~ The refraining lines echoed the feeling of sadness ~
Thanks for linking up with Real Toads & wishing you Happy Weekend ~
Grace
A powerful and dark poem, Vanadana. What is left when one can neither speak nor hope?
This is painful to read, Vandana. Weeping and never sleeping must be very difficult.
Sometimes if you are buried in those sorrows it's hard to get out of it... The rhymes make it the darkness bearable, maybe the unbearable lightness of being will lead to a path out of that sorrow...
Beautiful form. I read the doll as standing in for the unheard children, the cassandras of both genders.
Sadness is very well stressed using this form, i do hope there is light to lead the persona out of the night
Much love...
No hope, sorrow, waiting with no end...very heartbreaking. Your poem pairs well with the artwork.
A silent witness of fate, - beautiful, something we all feel at one time or another, how sadness grips us.
The form looks intricate, Vandana, and you managed it well. I like the repeating line "never I sleep".
Very moving - the intensity of the pain expressed with great feeling.
interesting concept stave vs stanza... glad I stopped by
:-)
ZQ
haunting poem...i think i would weep...
to have my tears and my voice taken...would be a terrible place
to be....
Yes, it is a haunting poem....but dolls do seem to have so much to say in their unblinking eyes that never close in sleep.
How sad this is and how sometimes true of life. It is not that long since I cried silently inside, lips sealed...
Anna :o]
My eyes say a story,
of gory and glory..
This perfectly reflects the sculpture.
So beautiful yet so sad
This fits the sculpture so well--a plaintive quality to the doll. Thanks. k.
You've got the form down perfectly. What a heart-breaking write.
Sad and deep, lovely form you chose for this poem, you do it justice :)
Incredible! Form and poetry!
It strikes me in the beginning...the tears all dry...sometimes grieving cleaves that deep and the tears do dry up. Well done on the form for this!
Very much thought provoking...
And the poem flows with an ease making it beautiful :)
it is so touching and haunting. I loved the metaphor of roads in the second para. Words have been beautifully presented to create a picture that is eerily stirring.
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